A student asked me a question today I get all the time, and seems to be a major concern for developing comedians in their first few years:

“Do I perform the same 5 minute routine that I performed in my first standup performance? And just perform that 3 more times in a row to try and "lock it in" (or whatever)?

OR

Do I trial some new material to give the people something new? Surely it's acceptable (if not even expected) that I just do the same bit for my first few times so I know I'm performing something worthwhile. Or do I get real kooky and just start experiment right off the bat. This is my dilemma.”

The questions everyone asks:

How often do I need to come up with new material? Should I write a new set every time? Do I just work to polish the same set? What if the audience has already seen me?

tl;dr answer:

1) Go where your energy takes you. If you’re more excited about newer material, go there. If being rehearsed makes you more confident and comfortable, do that.

2) Do whatever is going to make you a better comedian in the long run.

Long answer:

For amateur, unpaid, open-mic type shows, you should use the opportunity to do something different: new material or older material polished and revised—with new jokes, tags, inflections, asides, revisions, edits, act-outs, or whatever. If it didn’t 100% kill, fix it.

For a pro gig, you’re getting paid and want to impress the producer as well as the audience. Therefore, you should stick to polished, rehearsed bits with a good success rate.

There are two kinds of comedians that get stuck at the open mic level:

1) The one who always gets on stage with untested material, improvises a whole new set every time, and never polishes anything. Imagine listening to a musician who never practices, and every time they get onstage they play a brand-new song by ear full of mistakes and off-notes and awkward pauses. Would you buy a ticket?

Or maybe worse:

2) The one who does the same set the same exact way every time, even though they only get polite awkward laughs with 20% of it. They never change their inflections or delivery, and never fix or cut jokes that don’t get laughs. It’s like listening to someone who only knows how to play piano with one finger play “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” over and over and over again….

You should strive to be better than both. Write something new, then polish the fuck out of it based on the audience’s responses, and then learn it so well that you can make it vibrant and exciting for every new audience.  At the same time, you should be writing constantly so that newer better stuff can take the place of not-so-great stuff as you improve.

What would you do if you were a musician? You’d work to learn as many songs as possible, AND learn those songs so well you can play them beautifully and passionately without thinking. Every song you learn to play perfectly makes it that much easier to learn the next. Same deal with standup.

But what if the audience has heard it before? Meh. Don’t worry about it. (And if your audience is comedians, fuck ‘em) In the first place, people have terrible memories. Also, you’re changing things up, right? So one of your bits is a story (or a string of jokes in story form) the person who might’ve heard it already hasn’t heard it tonight, in this room, to these people, with this new ending.

The great joy of live comedy is not just the material, but the shared once-in-a-lifetime delight of this conversation between this skilled comedian and this audience. My biggest fans probably know most of my material by heart, but they’re more delighted by the reactions of the people around them in the moment.

So go where the energy takes you. Do you love telling this bit? Does it always kill? Do these people need to hear your point? Then say it as many times as you like. Are you bored with the bit? Then drop it or change it up. One way or the other, trust your gut, keep a growth mindset, and have fun.

[note: you can replace the word “comedy” here with “burlesque” or “improv” or whatever your performing art happens to be.]

Why run a bar gig?

• Because you and your friends need a space to work on your craft.

• Because you like watching comedy and hanging out with comedians.

• Because you like making people laugh.

You’re not running a bar show to pay your rent or become world famous. You run a bar show to learn to be funny enough to land the TV deal. Most of my strength as a comedian, not to mention thick skin, comes from performing for free in back rooms of bars to tiny apathetic audiences (i.e. the other comedians). For three years, I ran a free Monday show at a gay dive bar in the West Village, where comics you’ve seen on Netflix and Conan, such as Marc Normand, Joel Kim Booster, Myq Kaplan, and Aparna Nancherla performed for a free drink and the honor of doing ten minutes for the drag queen passed out in the corner. No one expected money, and even when we had no audience the comics thanked me for the spot and then maybe asked me to do ten minutes at their own bar shows.

Ideal Venue: A small, dark room with low ceilings. For comedy purposes, it’s better to have nine people in a room that holds ten than fifty people in a room that holds a hundred. Look for quiet nights in basement bars and small music venues. Look for small back rooms and upstairs function rooms in bigger bars, cafes, and restaurants. Be creative! I’ve seen amazing gigs in bookstores, laundromats, movie theatres, living rooms, rooftops, courtyards, and netball clubs.

Don’t force yourself into already popular spaces and ambush them with comedy. (I once performed a spot at a bar across from the United Nations, during Friday happy hour, and during a major hockey game. Thick skin.) If you plan to take over a whole venue, especially for “ambush” comedy, make sure there’s nothing else going on such as games on the TV, pool tables, loud pinball machines, or private functions. If you’re taking over a huge space and charging at the door, you need a huge show with a big draw—so plan to spend some serious money on a big-name act and lots of publicity.

Remember, bar owners need to make rent. Their primary interest is to sell drinks and food to as many people as possible. Therefore, unless they’re familiar with comedy, they’re going to actively ruin your show by prioritizing food and drink sales over the quality of your dumb show. They will run blenders and cappuccino machines, chat loudly with patrons, and leave the TV on so their regular patrons can watch the game. I’ve seen bar owners book private parties, quiz nights, and death metal bands on the other side of a thin wall or at the other end of the bar. They will be annoyed if you berate paying customers for not paying attention during your precious show, and furious if paying customers walk away.

What can you do? First, don’t agree to gigs in difficult spaces. And then, set clear and firm expectations from the beginning:

• Good clear mic

• Pool tables closed

• Room dark except for a bright light on the stage

• All TVs and music off

• No blender/espresso drinks

• No loud voices during the show

• No other parties or events in the same room

If the bar can’t abide by those expectations (“But it’s just a small party on the other side of the bar!”) then lower YOUR expectations or move elsewhere. Expect to get politely fucked by a few venues until you find the space you need (“There’s comedy tonight? No one told me,” said more than one bartender.) Even in ideal venues, most gigs will suffer noise-bleed from neighboring rooms, not to mention drunk, disruptive, and—even worse—indifferent punters who didn’t come for the comedy. That’s OK! Tough rooms are an awesome place to work on your craft and maybe even expand your audience, especially if you win people over despite difficult circumstances. That’s what bar shows are for.

Be a net-positive for the bar. Try to bring a good audience who will spend money. The MC should make a big show of encouraging everyone to buy lots of drinks and food, especially when the boss is in the room. If you happen to make good money at the door, tip the over-worked staff a little something. Never ever insult the venue, even if it gets a good laugh.

Money? Door charge? Pay the comics? Publicity Budget? Not my strong suit. Just try not to lose too much money. Use your common sense and your sense of ethics. With the bar, the easiest deal is “We bring people who drink. You take the booze money. We take the door money.” If the venue expects an extreme hire fee or a cut of the door, then the venue should pony up some money or effort for publicity.

Speaking of publicity: Do it! You need more than just a Facebook invite. Use everything: press releases, newspapers, radio, event sites, email blasts, social media, whatever. However, the best publicity I’ve ever done is with elbow grease and pounding pavement: paste up posters, chalk sidewalks, and hand out flyers. Good old-fashioned “barking” is extremely effective (and no one in New Zealand does it enough). Stand outside your venue and accost passers-by: “Hey, do you like comedy?” I hate barking, but I’m always amazed at how many audience members I can pull in with a big smile, a loud voice, and nerves of steel.

Setting up the space: On the night of the show, get to the venue early and drag all the chairs and tables as close to the stage as you can. Encourage (or force) everyone to sit up front. Nothing kills comedy like an empty front row. The lights should be bright and clean on the stage, and as dark as possible in the audience. A flood lamp from a hardware store can work wonders.

Test the sound. Whisper and yell into the mic. Most house mics are set up for punk bands or karaoke, so you may need to change the levels dramatically (set all reverb to zero). The mic stand should be a simple pole with a round base. Angled boom mic stands will make everyone’s lives miserable (except for the guitar comic). However, most of the time you have to live with what you’re given.

Your checklist for the show:

• Who are the acts? What order? How much time for each? Print it out before the show and make several copies (for you, the MC, the acts, and the tech).

• Are sound and lights working?

• Who is running the door? Who is the tech? Who is seating people? Who is running the clock? This might be all you, so ask for help.

• Do you want music between each act? (Intro music for each act can be a big pain in the ass and may not be worth it unless you have a good tech.) If so…

• What’s on the pre-show/intermission/post-show music playlist?

The show itself? It’s your show, so always give yourself some stage time, preferably as the MC or in a prime spot. Worried the audience will get tired of you? Good! Write more, practice your crowdwork, and publicize to make a new, bigger, better audience at every show.

Otherwise, make it yours. Book the acts you want to book. Run it the way you want to run it. My only advice is this: Keep it short! DON’T create a hostage crisis. I’ve sat through way too many bar shows with 12 comics each doing 15 minutes, with an ego-driven MC (maybe it was me) doing 5 minutes between each act—all for a handful of exhausted audience members. It’s up to you and the MC to keep the show tight and energetic. Give every act a clear light when they have one minute left…etc. etc. … You know the rest.

Ultimately, relax. It’s a bar show. During my Monday show in the gay bar, the owner’s dog heckled us, a drunk angry sex worker stormed the stage, and graphic gay porn appeared randomly on the screens flanking the stage. We were regularly interrupted by a monthly gathering for a gay dodgeball league who liked to show up two hours early for their party and hated us. Our audiences ranged from fifty people to one person (Hi Brian!). We ran the show for three years and never cancelled. We had glorious triumphs and humiliating bombs. Guess when I learned the most?

A bar show is supposed to be a little terrible and punk rock. Roll with it, have fun with it, and learn from it. You will face late and no-show comics, disruptive patrons, hostile staff, tech disasters, and tiny or non-existent audiences. Do your best to give the people a good show one way or the other.

Oh, and book me. I need the stage time.

Comedy Writing Workbook

INTRO

The lament I hear most from comics is, “I need to write more.” Yes, you do. So do I.

This is NOT a guide to stand-up comedy. The focus here is on the writing process--what to do to get ideas out of your head and onto the page.

Much of what follows sometimes references hack formulas and comedy clichés. It's your job to make it original and suited to your persona. I’m assuming you’re already funny, but too prone to writer's block, procrastination, and self-censorship--just like everyone else.

This workbook describes the comedy writing process in a linear fashion:

Prepare --> Freewrite --> Find topics --> Explore topics --> Find the Funny --> Write Jokes --> Revise

But real writing never works that way. Some material comes out perfectly formed. Sometimes you’ll have to backtrack into freewriting and brainstorming as part of your final draft. Use this workbook with that in mind, and jump around to the stuff you like best.

PREPARE

Consider This

A pottery teacher told half his students that their grade would depend on one single piece that they’ll produce at the end of the term. He told the other half that their grade would be based on the volume of all the pieces they created. Which half do you think produced better work by the end? (From Art and Fear, by David Bayles)

Gather Supplies

Essentials: Notebook and pens. Your notebook can (and should) be as cheap as possible. A cheap spiral notebook makes the writing a lot less precious, and you're free to write more crap.

“I will not buy a Moleskine notebook ever again. I can’t handle the pressure.” (Marc Maron)

Other helpful stuff: highlighters, pocket-sized notebooks, index cards, tape recorder, video recorder, thesaurus, dictionary, computer, internet, newspapers, reference books, filing system, computer word processor, printer, calendar.

A great Mac program for keeping your material organized is Scrivener.

Plan to Write

A friend of mine recently said, "I wish I were a better writer." NO! It's better to accept the fact that most of the time you're an awful writer who has to write a lot of bad stuff to get to the good stuff. You will have to write dozens of terrible jokes to find one good one. Accept that fact and just write.

Make a writing schedule and stick to it. Set aside your time to write, every day. Choose any length of time, from 10 minutes to several hours, as long as it's consistent. One hour a day would be amazing. Get out your calendar now, make a schedule, and show up. Most professional writers write first thing in the morning, before checking the paper or email. There's some good advice from Jerry Seinfeld here.

You don't have to produce anything good, as long as all you do is sit in front of the blank notebook or computer screen and try to write, and that's ALL you do. Don't go do the dishes. Stay off your phone and Facebook. Vow to produce nothing but garbage for an hour.

Set reasonable goals: one 10-minute freewrite every morning, 10 bad jokes a day, 3 pages a day, a new 5-minute set every 2 weeks.

Don't throw anything away. Bad jokes can turn into good jokes, but only if you write them down.

“Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.” (Mitch Hedberg)

During the day, keep a small notebook in your pocket (or use your phone). Write everything down: half baked ideas, shoddy premises, news items, observations, strange things people said or did. If you have an idea, no matter how stupid, write it down before you lose it.

Do This Now

1) Gather your supplies

2) List your long-term and short-term goals (A new 10-minute routine in 2 months?) Set deadlines and put them in your calendar.

3) Book a gig. Sign up for a bringer show, a “New Talent” showcase, or just an open mic. A deadline for getting onstage will terrify you into writing more.

3) Set daily goals for writing (10-minute freewrite. 10 bad jokes. 1 full page of material)

4) Decide when you are going to write each day. Add your writing time into your datebook or calendar. Highlight it. Stick to it.

FREEWRITING

Kill the Censor

All of us have an internal censor--a monster created by teachers, parents, and peers--who tells us that our writing sucks. The weapon to kill that censor and break through writer’s block is called “freewriting.” Julia Cameron calls the process “the morning pages,” but it’s the same thing. Freewriting helps you learn to write without censorship, self-consciousness, or self-criticism. To freewrite, just move your pen with whatever’s on your mind. Don’t stop, don’t edit. Just keep writing.

The point of freewriting is to get past that censor-monster, muffle it, and kill it.

Here’s how to freewrite: Set a timer. Or set yourself a goal of three pages. Write for one, five, or twenty minutes (ten is good). Write anything that comes to mind. Keep your hand moving. Don't re-read what you've written. Don't check your grammar or backtrack for any reason.

Most of what you write will be awful, petty, silly, boring, stupid, weird, negative, repetitive, self-indulgent, or just plan unreadable. THAT’S THE POINT! One or two things will happen: either you'll write your way into interesting material, or you'll clear your mind of all the clutter that stands between you and creativity.

From Natalie Goldberg’s Wild Mind:

• Keep your hand moving. Don’t stop. Don’t cross out.

• Be specific (Not car but Cadillac. Not fruit but apple)

• Lose control (Let it rip. Don’t worry about being polite or proper)

• Don’t think (go for “first thoughts.”)

• Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling, grammar.

• You are free to write the worst junk in America.

• Go for the jugular (If something scary comes up, go for it. That’s where the energy is.)

Say to yourself, “Keep going. You’re doing fine. Don’t cross out. Don’t think.”

From Peter Elbow’s essay “Freewriting”:

Sometimes you will produce good writing, but that’s not the goal. Sometimes you will produce garbage, but that’s not the goal, either. You may stay on one topic, you may flip repeatedly from one topic to another: it doesn’t matter.

If you can’t think of anything to write, write about how that feels or repeat over and over, ‘I have nothing to write’ or ‘Nonsense’ or ‘No.’ If you get stuck in the middle of a sentence or thought, just repeat the last word or phrase till something comes along. The only point is to keep writing.

The goal of freewriting is the process, not the product.

Freewriting helps you to think of topics to write about. Just keep writing, follow threads where they lead and you will get to ideas, experiences, feelings, or people that are just asking to be written about.

Other rules

Be messy, be boring, be mean. Don’t try to be funny or witty. Don’t feel the need to put it into sentence form (or setup-punch form) at first. Don’t judge it. Don’t throw anything away. Don’t reread it right away if you don’t want to--or re-read it and highlight interesting stuff if you want.

Do This Now

1) Try it. Open your notebook to a blank page, set the clock for 10 minutes, and go. Don’t stop writing until the time is up.

FIND YOUR COMEDY TOPICS

All comedy will be about you and the things around you (duh). Start making lists of subjects to write about. USE YOUR PEN.

Start by answering some of these questions. List at least 10 answers for each question.

What do you love?
What do you hate?
What do you love about yourself (appearance, behavior)?
What do you hate about yourself (appearance, behavior)?
What fascinates you?
What annoys you?
What makes you worry?
What are you afraid of?
What are you proud of?
What do you suck at?
What are you good at?
What are you ashamed of?
What’s the first thing people notice about you?
What makes you unique?
What DON’T you want to write about?
What don’t you understand?
What are your wishes?
What did you want to be when you grew up?

Random Topics

Pick some that seem interesting to you and freewrite/list/brainstorm about them:

Physical appearance, Tragedies, Dreams, aspirations, Big life risks, Revenge fantasies, Stupid things, Us/them, Fights you had, Authority, Family, Money, Business, Politics, Fears, Passions, Fears and anxieties , What disturbs you, Angst, Politics, Politicians, Authority, Social Issues, Day-to-day errands, Hobbies, pastimes , Current events, News, Historical events, Celebrities, Films, News Media , TV shows, Music, Musicians, Advertisements, Consumer Products, People in your life (Family, friends, coworkers), Marriage, relationships, divorce, Adultery, cheating, Dating, petting, Taboos, Perversions, Fetishes, SEX, Sexuality, Gender roles, Sexism, Genitalia, Bodily functions, Biology, Stereotypes, Race, Cultural differences , Significant events, Addictions, Alcohol, Disease, Illness, Medicine, Bad habits, Beliefs, Credos, Ideas, Business, Skills, Pets, Nature, Animals, Crime, Significant life experiences, Milestones (Birthdays, retirement), Childhood, “What I did on my summer vacation”, School, classes, teachers, Sports, Fitness, Books, Religion, Superstitions, Technology, Art, Holidays, Shopping, Fashion, Science, Food, Diet, Location (Geography, hometown, travel), Embarrassing situations, Psychology, Psychiatry, Sleep, Hopes, Goals, Aspirations, Travel, Transportation, Words, Wordplay, Vocabulary, Home, House, Apartment, Birth, Aging, Death, Seasons, Weather, Magic or Super powers, Places, Architecture, Buildings, Slang, Neologisms, Clichés, Misunderstandings, Pet Peeves, Names, Opposing kinds of people

Do This Now

1) Using the above prompts and questions, make a list of 100 things. Pick something at random from the above list (For example: Food). Start listing examples (Poptarts, potatoes, hamburgers, quinoa, non-dairy creamer…). If you run out of steam, pick another prompt and keep listing. Don’t stop until you’ve reached 100.

2) Use the topic list, or write a series of nouns on your page or on a board, or pull them from a bag. Do 2-minute freewriting sprints on each subject.

EXPLORE A COMEDY TOPIC

Once you find a topic that seems as if it has potential, start expanding and exploring to find out what’s interesting or funny about it.

Select a Topic: Start by listing factual statements, headlines, and simple truths. For example: “I was born in ____.” “Today, the president said _____.” “I own a dog named _____.” “I love ____.” “I hate ____.”

If you’re writing about a celebrity or politician, go online and research facts about that person. Write them down.

Brainstorm: Free associate, list, cluster, mind-map, whatever. Write down everything you can think of related to that topic: examples, analogies, associated words, similarities, opposites, types, people, places, events, clichés, etc.

Ask questions: Who, what, where, when, why, and how? Who likes, dislikes it? Who is affected? Who is pleased? Who is upset? What’s the next logical step? What caused it? What does it cause? Where does it happen? When did it start? Why did it occur? So what?

What about this topic is paradoxical, ironic, unfair, or incongrous?

Judy Carter’s questions (from The Comedy Bible):

Why is it weird?
Why is it stupid?
Why is it hard?
Why is it scary?

Organize: Break your topic into groups and subgroups

• Classify / divide (What is it part of? What are its parts?)

• Causes / effects

• Similarities / opposites

• Problem / solution

• Comparisons/contrasts (old/young, M/F, gay/straight, dogs/cats)

• Underlying assumptions

• Logical flaws

• Contrary points of view and the reasoning behind them

Explore people: Who or what are they like? What do they say most often? What phrases? Stories they tell. Defining characteristics (fears, phobias, prejudices, accents, habits)? Clothes? Outer appearance? Behaviors? What’s on their shopping lists? What are their hopes and dreams? What do they want and what’s in their way?

Play “What if?” What if this happened in another context, to another person? What’s an extreme case? Go even more extreme.

Find Play On Word (POW) opportunities: What are common words and expressions people use to talk about this topic? Phrases used most often? Clichés? What do most people say?

List clichés, double entendres, synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, other definitions for the same word, rhymes, euphemisms, malapropisms, oxymorons, puns, reforming, simple truths (literal meaning), takeoffs (literal interpretations), mispronunciations, non-sequitors.

Find your POV: What’s your point of view? Angle? What do you want to prove about the topic? How do you see it? What do you predict or recommend? What’s your solution? How do you explain why this occurs? How would like to change people’s perceptions?

Do This Now

1) Pick a topic that has potential. Using the above ideas, fill 3-5 pages with lists, charts, mind-maps and random doodlings related to that topic.

FIND YOUR ATTITUDES

How do you feel about this topic? What attitudes, beliefs, and emotions does it engender in you and in others. WHY?

Affectionate • Amused • Aggressive • Fulfilled • Jaunty • Confident • Optimistic • Embarrassed • Pessimistic • Relieved • Egotistic • Seduced • Vivacious • Weird • Stupid • Abused • Angry • Downtrodden • Cold • Down • Grieving • Content • Flattered • Quiet • Shielded • Violent • Raging • Guarded • Yielding • Pitiful • Used • Challenged • Hard • Delighted • Scared • Love • Nervous • Jealous • Cowardly • Ironic • Superiority • Hatred • Fear • Disgust • Grossed out • Amusement • Nervous • Worry • Shame • Shocked • Belonging • Confusion • Lust • Pressure • Anxiety • Intoxication • Happy • Sad • Nostalgic • Delight • Vindication Accomplished • Victory • Pride • Excited • Depressed • Rage • Fury • Creepy • Tired • Irritable • Distracted • Tense • Hostile • Agony • Sore • Panicked • Bored • Intrigued • Thrilled

Do This Now

1) List a series of attitudes/emotions/feelings. List out all the things that cause those emotions in you or others. Explore why.

2) Go through your notebook, especially the 3-5 pages from the last section, and add an emotional tag to every word or sentence. How do you feel about it? What’s your attitude? 

WHAT IS FUNNY? WHY DO WE LAUGH?

What makes YOU laugh? The best comedy writing makes the writer laugh first.

From Mel Helitzer’s Comedy Writing Secrets, we laugh for various reasons:

• Surprise

• Feel superior

• Instinct

• Incongruity

• Ambivalence

• For release (when tension is released)

• When we solve a puzzle

• To regress

Mel Helitzer’s elements of a joke:

T – Target
H – Hostility
R – Realism
E – Exaggeration
E – Emotion
S – Surprise

Why we laugh, from Jim Mendrinos’s Complete Idiot’s Guide:

• Familiarity/recognition/belonging. We laugh at what we know.

• “I wish I would’ve said that!”

• Extremes

• Shock/Surprise

• Silliness

From Scott Adams (of Dilbert):

The core of humor is what I call the 2-of-6 rule. In order for something to be funny, you need at least two of the following elements: Cute (as in kids and animals), Naughty, Bizarre, Clever, Recognizable (you’ve been there), Cruel. I invented this rule, but you can check for yourself that whenever something is funny it follows the rule. And when something isn’t, it doesn’t.

Do This Now

1) Make a list of what makes you laugh. No one will see it, so be honest (If it’s stupid cat videos, so be it). Why do you think it’s funny?

2) Find a comedian you admire on video, DVD, YouTube, or vinyl. Pick a really good joke or bit and copy the joke out verbatim. What was it that made the audience laugh? What was the emotion behind it? Who was the target? Why was it surprising?

MAKE IT FUNNY

Time to write funny things! Most jokes have a setup or premise that builds tension and anticipation with an attitude and point of view, and then a punchline, twist, or payoff that surprises or releases that tension. 

Setup (topic, attitude, anticipation, POV) --> Punch (surprise, exaggeration, recognition)

A good setup/premise is NOT funny. It's factually true, has a clear emotion, and is specific, visual, and clear. It shouldn’t be longer than two typewritten lines, preferably less than one. Bad premises are too long, unclear, or preposterous, with too many topics before the punch.

How you write the rest of the joke varies. It may come perfectly formed (setup/punch), or you may have to write backwards: Consider something extreme or nonsensical about your topic (punch), and then create a statement of fact (premise) that makes the extreme statement somehow logical.

Possible structures
(Many of these come from Judy Carter)
 
Setup                       Punch
Information              Exaggeration
Information              Sarcasm
Information              Radical understatement
Word                          Unexpected Definition
Question                    Offbeat Answer
Question                    Fabrication
Question                    Absurdity
Question                   Preposterous response
Theme                       Specific example
Sane                            Insane
Realistic                      Fantasy
Adult view                  Child’s View
Friendly                      Hostile
Fact                             Fiction
Normal                        Loony

Ways to Punch
(Many of these come from Jim Mendrinos)

Analogies
What ifs
Antonyms
Entendres
Exaggeration
Distortions
Funny sounds
Homonyms
Incongruity
Juxtaposition
Malapropisms
Mangled clichés
Metaphors
Parodies
Sarcasm
Satire
Shock humor
Similes
Surprises
Synonyms
Things in threes
Using the familiar

Joke Formulas
(Many of these are from talk-show monologues and Comedy Central roasts)

______ is so _____ that ______
_______ is almost like _______. The only difference is ________
_______ is more ____ than a ________
_____ is like _______
______ looks like ______ with _____
How ______ was it? It was so ______ that _______
Translation (________: a _____ word meaning_____)
You know you’re _______ when_____
____ is the only _______that  ________
______ is worse than_______. 

Other Funny
(From Mendrinos, Carter, Helitzer and Perret)

Understatement
Use standard references and expressions
Compare / contrast
Reverses
Analogies
Paired Elements (“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit”)
Wordplay: synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, numbers, aphorisms, opposites
Triples (Setup, Anticipation, Punch) (Normal, Normal, Wacky)
Realism, Understatement
Transformations, Mixes (“What if . . .”)
Funny words (Names, places, food, ethnic expressions, animals, numbers)
Foul Language
Similes
Observations
Mimicking (acting out)
Reforming (Rewriting clichés)
List Making
Callbacks
Shift attitudes (mocking insincerity)? “I’m proud of __(something negative)_ because”
Reflect the truth
Relax/release tension
Shock
Attack authority
Involve the audience

Do This Now

1) Pick another joke from a famous comic. What was the setup? What was the punch? (Even so-called “alt” comics use a setup-punch formula, however disguised) How did it work and WHY did it work?

2) Using your notes from before, write 10 jokes. Use formulas if you have to. You can disguise the formulas later.

REVISE TO MAKE IT FUNNIER

Some jokes and bits are perfect as written. Most are not. Go perform your material at an open mic, or throw a joke into a conversation. If your jokes repeatedly don’t get laughs, revise! (Sometimes it’s funny and the audience sucks, so try it a few times.)

Consider your Premise

Is the premise original? Does it fit the audience’s emotional needs, humanity?
Did you go off on a tangent? Your setup should have only ONE subject (cut 2 or 3) that is single and clear.
Is it Clear, Concise, and Concrete?
Can you be more visual, more understandable?
Can you fix the grammar at all?
Is your premise ambigious? Can you be more specific?
Revise questions and passive voice (make it active, imperative)
too many beats? Words to cut? More words to cut?
How you feel should be clear, either said or acted. Is there a clear attitude or excitement to the premise?
Could your attitude be stronger?
Know what you want to say. Have a strong POV.
What’s your point? What are you trying to prove?
Did you give it away? Protect the surprise. Misdirect.
Did you offend or alienate the audience? (It may be best to avoid racism, sexism, homophobia, and disgusting bodily functions until you're REALLY good.)

Consider your Punchline:

Punch should have a brief surprise, with the funniest bit at the very end.
Again, there should be a clear attitude or shift in attitude.
Is your audience surprised and do they recognize the truth?
Show, Don’t tell!
Better verbs?
Where’s the laugh/surprise? Is it the very last word?
Is the funny part the premise? Can I flip my setup and punch?
Could the last word be a funnier one (use your thesaurus)?
What other tangents can I go on?
Word play opportunities?
Act outs?
How many words can you cut? Cut more?

Go further

If it’s getting laughs, keep going. Is there more I can explore with this topic? Go back and play some more: freewrite, explore, brainstorm. Wring it for everything its worth.

When you get a big laugh, ask yourself: What was the subject? What was the attitude? Write more here!
No Laugh? What was the subject? What was the attitude? Maybe choose another subject or stronger attitude.

Do This Now

1) Revise 10 of your old jokes. Cut excess words, make the setup clearer, reword the punch, shift the attitude.

2) Find someone else’s joke (during an open-mic or while watching YouTube) that’s a real clunker. Rewrite it and make it better. This is purely an exercise. DO NOT steal the joke for yourself. DO NOT share your revision unless this person already likes you and trusts your input.

YOUR COMIC PERSONA

Persona comes with time and practice as you become more comfortable on stage (I’m still working on mine). But consider the interaction between you and the audience. Where are you meeting, and where are you missing each other?

Performer --> Material <-- Audience

My first comedy instructor, Steve Rosenfield, defined a comedian as  “A person with a Problem.” Yet he called the act of stand-up comedy, “Joyous Communication.” Interesting. According to him, the most successful comedians are:

Original
Likeable (Lovable? The key is your struggle.)
Vulnerable
Genuine (Reflect and exaggerate off the truth. Laughable truth.)
Vivid (Clear)
Charismatic (infuse communication with emotions, feelings. In a way that makes them feel comfortable.)
Just Plain Funny

HUMOROUS ESSAYS and STORYTELLING

If you’re writing for print, or for “storytelling,” you have less of an obligation to be funny on every line. However, there are other points to consider for a longer essay:

Rule #1: Show, don’t tell

Topic – Write about anything you want, but be as specific as you can. Rather than writing about your job in general, write about one specific day. If you find yourself using “would” too much, or writing about general “people,” then you’re not being specific enough.

Audience – Who, specifically, are you trying to convince? I know you want your essay to be for a general audience, but focus on one group; it’ll be more universal that way. What does your audience already know? Leave it out. What do they need to know? Highlight it. Write for people with a specific mind-set that you want to change. In what magazine do you see this appearing?

Purpose - Have a goal, a strong reason for writing and a reason someone should read your essay. You may not know your goal when you start to write, but it should emerge as you put words to paper. Revise with this goal in mind.

Thesis – What’s your point? You should be able to state your point in one clear sentence (this is where audience and purpose meet). You don’t necessarily need to include that sentence in your essay, but your point (truth, insight, lesson) should be clear by the last line.

Style – Make it your voice. Formal or informal, florid or sparse, your style should be yours, but also consider your audience and purpose. Use all the techniques of fiction and poetry (plot, character, setting, dialog, description, metaphor, and rhythm) to make the language sing.

Organization – Make an outline sometime in the process (probably long after you begin writing). Your essay should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Think about structure, balance, and flow. Can you break up larger paragraphs, or divide the essay into coherent sections? Make sure the events of the essay follow clear chronological order.

Detail – Detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail detail.

Revise – “Kitchen sink” the first draft, and include every detail, idea, and tangent. Then, when you revise, be willing to cut ruthlessly. Get feedback. Cut everything that doesn’t serve your purpose. Read it out loud repeatedly, and rework anything that’s clumsy, cliché, or vague. Rather than adding descriptive adjectives, think about your verbs. For example, what are verbs you could use besides “walk?” (stride, slide, scurry, scamper, sashay, stumble, stagger, strut?

SOURCES

Cool Links

"Art and Craft of Comedy - Stephen Rosenfield, American Comedy Institute

Jerry Seinfeld's Productivity Secret

Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of Comic (by Henri Bergson)

BasilWhite.com - Applying Humor to Other Writing Forms

Bill Hicks’s Principles of Comedy « Nerdist

Comedians Looking For Work... by Doug Stanhope on Myspace

Neil Gaiman on Writing

The Importance of Humor Writing | WritersDigest.com

Punchline Magazine - All things in Stand Up Comedy.

LAUGHSPIN - All Things in Comedy

The Dilbert Blog: Humor Formula

Greg Dean's Habits of the Comic Mind

Writing Books

Bayles, David. Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking
Cameron, Julia. The Artist's Way
Elbow, Peter. Writing With Power
Goldberg, Natalie. Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within
Goldberg, Natalie. Wild Mind: Living the Writer's Life
King, Stephen. On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the Craft
Strunk and White. The Elements of Style
Zinsser, William. On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction

Comedy Books

Carter, Judy. Stand-Up Comedy: The Book
Carter, Judy. The Comedy Bible: From Stand-up to Sitcom
Helitzer, Mel. Comedy Writing Secrets
Mendrinos, James. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Comedy Writing
Perret, Gene. The New Comedy Writing Step by Step
Sankey, Jay. Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy
Vorhaus, John. The Comic Toolbox

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